Toasted

Sorry for the lack of updates.

I have been a busy bee and this sums up my weekend.

Will blog in detail after I finish studying for International History.

Cousin's wedding at Regent Hotel on Saturday

A very blur photo with my mom and cousins but that's all I have so far.

(Please don't tell me I look like my mom, I've heard that too many times before.)

Blacks Fun Touch on Sunday

Followed by a very burnt me after 7 hours in the scorching sun.

Limping all day long in school due to injuries.

It's nearly August, do you realise?

Only 4 more months to Christmas, to the end of the year.

Under my arms

Just back from a family photoshoot and I looked terrible due to the hot weather and terrible hair.

So glad that it's Friday.

Tomorrow will be my cousin's wedding at Regent Hotel and Blacks Fun Touch is on Sunday! 

Hope we win hehehe, could use some money.

Oasis

If you're one of my close friends, you should know that I've been going through a bout of depression and self loathing.

Which I'm glad to say I'm slowing getting out of.

The stress and poor results were getting to me.

There is something that makes me very, very angry about teachers.

Some teachers take a very high moral ground, which could be well justified given that they are much more experienced in life and are simply older.

But so what? There are definitely things that I, or the current generation, have went through which teachers have never experienced nor can relate to, so how does that even make him more of a person than me?

It is frustrating, I emphasize frustrating, that the only control teachers have over us, are our grades.

And let me tell you, they abuse it.

They really do because if that's the only power they have over us.

And you can mull over an assignment or project for weeks and months and do they give a fuck?
No. 

They give you a B or C or a U, because they can.

Because the power they have here is unquestionable.

Because their marking is always right.

They love smart students, who doesn't?

But will never admit it.

They never want to see us fail.

Honestly, sometimes I think, Yes. Yes, they do.

Because any form of manipulation is gratifying.

Monday morning

Got home pretty early today after altering the dress for this Saturday for freaking fifteen bucks.

The weather is out to kill me.
And I'm getting so frustrated waiting for Tracyeinny's site to recover from crashing.
They're having 50% off for most items and their items are quite decent and of a wide range.
Google Tracyeinny to find the webbie!

But this crashing is making me so frustrated.
I have been camping all day waiting to check out my items and so many items that I wanted went oos :'(

3-4 years ago

Saw some tweets on twitter and it made me completely nostalgic about secondary school life.
Life was pretty good then, compared to now.

I had a hell lot of ups and downs in secondary school and only a handful of people would know what I truly went through and everything I did.
I would say more downs than ups but it made me really a lot stronger mentally and emotionally.

In Secondary 3 and 4, I was in 306 and 406 and this is my clique.

Left to right: Me, Yuenling, Zhiting, Luyi (who is also my schoolmate in nyjc now), and Cris.
Sure we've drifted a hell lot cos we're in different schools and never meet up again.
But these girls made school a hell lot easier for me.

                  

We did crazy things.
Sitting on the fourth floor looking at boys playing soccer.
Went to accompany Luyi shave the side of a head and make a cooling fin out of it.
Pass food around in the coffee shop cos we all had distinct differences (Any bit of veggie is transferred to Zhiting, any salty food to me)
Saw each other go through love and heart breaks.

I still miss each and everyone of you and I hope we meet up again.
                                    
                   

This is my class of two years on Prom Night.
I would say we're pretty much a very bonded class, except for a few misfits hahaha.

My class loves gambling.
In fact, love is an understatement.
We gamble at any possible free time and our debts to each other rocketed to nearly $300+!!
I think we have near 10 decks of card confiscated.

There was once the entire class skipped social studies lesson to go gambling at a friend's place.
Our excuse was that we forgot and since it was the entire class, it wouldn't be so bad.
But no, this smartass went to class and split the beans about our plans and for the whole of next week, we found ourselves in sweltering heat in the foyer.
No words.

This is Shaiful and one of my closest friends in secondary school.
He was always getting into trouble for everything.
He's really sweet in nature and here's a jizz shot of him while I adjust his bow tie HAHAHA.

Us during our Prom Night!
Luyi is still in NYJC with me and also in my touch rugby team.
So I sort of am still in contact with her the longest out of the four girls.
She's actually so much the same but so different at the same time, I can't place words for it.

 

The funniest thing we do after the crappiest days in school is to go to this shop in AMK called Top 20 I think. (& the shop is still there)
It sells the most ridiculous clothes and we would grab a handful of the worst and have fits laughing in the dressing rooms.
It was really our thing and it was so funny.

I was closest with Zhiting in Secondary 4 cause she sat right next to me.
We often had small conflicts and Zhiting once wrote a 'sorry' on a post it and just pasted it on my table.
I burst out laughing.
I saw Zhiting get together with David cos I was the one who paired them together!
I was very proud of my achievement then.
They had a lovely relationship and Zhiting was always very happy.
I don't know whether they hate me or thank me secretly on the inside x.x

Friends really do come and go, don't they?

The dark night rises

What better way to end off a hectic week in school with probably the most awesome show this year?
And yes, way surpassing Avengers.

Watched TDKR with the entire clique except Phan, Cy and Keefe!

I was so excited and couldn't really focus on anything during the day.
We got so damn worried that tickets would be sold out that we checked online bookings at least every thirty minutes to make sure that we had tickets available.
Gobbled our food in about five mins and almost sprinted to AMK to make the 2.40pm show.
Regretted eating spicy curry from the Malay store cos my tummy was just burning with indigestion.

I am going to watch the movie again in the cinemas. And that's how good it was cos the only other show I watched twice was Real Steel.
JGL is perfect as Robin and I can't wait for another show on their partnership (Though Robin will die eventually which would make me go into depression for a little while haha)
Another fav actor of mine, Tom Hardy, was also in the show!!

Still conflicted over whether TDK or TDKR was actually better.
TDK was more satisfying and mindfucking while TDKR was a little more predictable but more emotional.
Nearly teared at some scenes.

I can't wait for my second screening!

8 things

1. Life is unfair. Extremely unfair.

2. There are many freaks in this world.
( I saw someone in my school who walks around balancing his pencilbox on his head )

3. Parents should stop comparing me to others (or say I'm unappreciative cos you never really showed me you cared for my existence anyway) because I can easily compare them with many other parents I admire.

4. If you want something from me, ask. If I don't offer, it's because something has a sentimental value to me and it goes beyond my selfishness or anything like that. But if you ask nicely, I would usually still share it at least.

5. I need to stop having dreams that stay on my mind the entire day or makes me feel as if I've ran a marathon.

6. I secretly love my Dad working at Xerox.

7. I am trying to keep it together.

8. I always look for encouragement or little gifts (even something small like an Oreo cookie or cheese tofu) cos it truly brightens my day and helps me pull through awful days.

Aranda

Amanda's 18th birthday party at Aranda Country Club was good!
Met several new people :)
Had heaps of the very famous potato salad and hot dog, but I still went home feeling hungry.

Pics up if they're uploaded hopefully and if I don't look fat in them.
I think I gained 2kg just from school.
And my weight gains are EXTREMELY obvious sigh.

Just a side note, I think people should always know their limits when it comes to drinking.
Because we know our own alcohol tolerance best, stop before its one drink too much and become a complete mess.
It's a burden for others to look after drunkards, trying to sober them up.

The thing about friends

I've been thinking about it much lately and it sparked me off to write this post when I saw how K treated in general, girls.
K is my good friend and I'm not criticising how he dealt with everything. In fact, almost everyone is guilty of this and this is the way it works.

If you look closely on tumblr, twitter etc, one of the greatest things people can relate to his losing friendships.
The feeling is beyond heartbreaking and I myself have been lugging a heavy weight in my heart for all the friendships I've lost.

But people come and go. Always.

But that's not the point of this.
People come and go, especially if the friendship was never built to last.

As in K's situation, he became very good friends with S because he liked her.
Always finding opportunities to meet up, hang out, small sweet gifts, all the usual.
And I feel that's where girls get attached to the friendship, even though they know very well that they would never end up with the guy, they just love and treasure the friendship so damn much cos it's really a pretty good friendship right!

Girls are treated well, showered with attention when we're upset, find company during boring days.
I'm sure girls appreciate it a lot, I'm not saying they take it for granted.

But this 'friendship', like I said, was never built to last.
It will end as soon as the guy loses all feelings and attraction to her.
Shorter replies, infrequent meet ups, never going the extra mile again etc.

So this was what happened when K lost some attraction towards S.

Everyone is guilty of this. At some point of time in your life, encountered this personally or from a friend.

Which is sad, cos who do you blame for losing that friendship?

I would say, never get too attached to a friendship unless it's purely platonic.
And that's really hard for me.
I get way too attached to people.

Another kind of friendships that would never last: Friends who are out to make use of you.

Never go overboard with favours from friends. NEVER.
A recent friend of mine pissed me off so badly for asking for something so extra ridiculous that it took me about 4 seconds to recoil from shock and reply her.
Please know where the limit is.
I would usually go the extra mile for a friend but never above and beyond.

I need to stop being so attached and holding on to the past.

Bundles

I like being alone, but I don't like feeling alone.

Death or near death experiences are recently on the high.
And it's making me think a lot.
I might have been living life too safely.
If I die tomorrow, I would think about all the things I didn't manage to do, not the things I've done.

Side note, training after a long while felt good but my legs are almost breaking.
Sogurt half day off is tomorrow and I can't wait!

Have I lost all motivation?

This is a very fragmented post, my thoughts are all in a flurry.

Food coma

I just can't do statistics.
I literally want to rip my hair apart trying to deal with stats.

Freaking demoralising to get U for math, thanks to statistics.
Felt even worse when people around me are still killing themselves bcos they're a few more marks short of an A.
I know that it's really good to have high expectations but how can anyone feel worse than me getting a U?!

No one should rejoice publicly during returning of results.
Everyone's on edge and people become too sensitive.

So, I went for an all out binging session with Michelle and SW to lift my spirits.
Had a heavy lunch of awesome Tom Yam in school and headed to Novena for awesome chicken rice!
Packed two boxes home for my parents and I stole a few more mouthfuls hehe.

Being gluttons, we got cupcakes for ourselves from Twelve cupcakes and I must say, Red velvet with cream cheese is still my favourite!
I resolve to perfect this recipe so I can indulge at home.

It's high time I start working my ass off.
I'll do a math paper for every cupcake from Twelve Cupcakes I receive so encourage me, friends!
HAHAHA

A little lost

To see someone you've never seen for 4-5 years and know that you used to be extremely close once before.
It's indescribable.

Phototaking day in school today and I was so frustrated that I nearly wanted to leave school without even taking the class photo.
I was supposed to end school by 1230 after the shoot but we got delayed TWO hours.
It's super annoying that some classes try to be fancy and take up so much time arranging themselves. Our class was like chop chop, 6 shots done in less than 10 mins.

Everyone got tired doing nothing for so long that no one had the mood to watch a movie anymore.

School officially starts tomorrow with actual lessons & everything.
I'm going to enjoy my free night to the fullest.

It's the final laps before A's.

Late thoughts

I'm a very impatient person.
Probably the most impatient because I get annoyed if I have to wait for someone, even for a minute. (Though I'm always late hehe)

But it's ironic how much patience I've put into this, how patient I am still sticking around after years and still patient even from now onwards.

I've been fighting so hard.
It actually really drains me inside out.

Psst

My new love from Marc Jacobs!

Thank you and I love you, B.

Wee hours

It's six thirty in the morning and I don't know what I'm still doing up.
I have two H2 papers coming up and I cannot wait to be done at 11am, Thursday.

Studying makes me sick to my bones.
And it makes me dream of irrational stuff, like how great it would be to work in an awesome cake shop like Carlo's Bakery.
I am brainwashed by Cake Boss but I think I would be truly happy working there.
And you don't need to be awesomely smart nor have an A level cert to work there.

I have major headaches everyday.
Like skull splitting headaches.
Is it normal?