This week was rough. At least around the end.
It started off really good and pleasant and I had this whole new positive energy and was hardly pissed at anyone except Moses. ( By the way, I hope you read this and know I fucking dislike you.) Made a couple of new friends this week and it was sweet.
Shah contacted me yesterday and I was pleasantly surprised about everything in his life now. I need friends like this.
Until Thursday, and I don't even know why my mood fell to zero.
And that's when everything started to go wrong.
I dont know why I'm still not past it yet,I used to be able to just let it go like that. I guess it's just you're not here, to truly comfort or make it up to me.
So I'm just whirling round with the things you said that night, thinking what made you say that, thinking if I made you say that.
You say you wanna take it back & I really want to push it all back.
But it stays on me like a cut, and I wonder how long it is going to take to heal.
Y'know babe, I'll never survive if you do it all over again.
So have you thought, maybe, I'm more afraid than you?
I wanna kiss it!
School is funny, awful, tiring, confusing and all sorts.
But Amanda Grace Leo makes it all better.
Even though we hardly ever see each other in school now bcos we're in different classes, a quick glimpse of her somewhere makes me feel all better.
I catch her along the school corridor, we hurry our goodbyes after "Hey I see you later, got class now". When both of us turn our backs, I'm smiling and thinking what to talk and laugh about later with her and I almost feel her smiling and thinking too.
After a quick impromtu lunch that lasted no more than 45mins @ Pizzahut, she would have caught up on my life updates, and hers to me.
Everything is short, sweet and simple with her.
You're my bestest girl here love, no matter how little communication and meetings we have.
I still feel empty.
You know the uncanny feeling you get when you know you've forgotten or lost something, but you simply cant figure out what exactly?
This feeling shadows me from the moment I wake up, to the entire rotten day at school, and then to bed.
I miss you, Munchy & Crunchy.
I was standing on the other side, watching you leave.
And I couldn't see you go.
Things to do after tomorrow.
1. Revamp and repaint my room
2. Buy literature books to stay home and keep me distracted
3. Visit DonDon
4. Fruits Diet
5. Make new friends from my class
6. Watch Black Swan alone/with whoever
7. Prepare Valentine's Day gifts for friends
8. Take the bike out for a ride
9. Find out how to draw a 2ex graph
10.Smile/ Fake smiles more
11.Stop crying
