City and Colour

Just back from work at IT fair & and I am drained, extremely. Work was killing me inside out, having to bear with lousy techno music to a new boss to fucktards with poor attitudes.

I'm glad it's finally over.

B has been really sweet to fetch me from work with treats and its such a long journey so thank you baby. I have been doing nothing but eating A LOT of food. Had Sunset Grill and Timbre with B and his friends and everything was awesome, especially Timbre.

Amanda and Shaun, I cannot wait to bring you thereeeeeeee!

Need to catch on a hell lot of work before the holidays end and it seems pretty scary. I am practically starting from square one (first chapter on every subject).

I know.*stabs myself*

Okay I need help, loads of it. But first, I need to shed all my kilos.
Babyboy look what you've done, please stop feeding me fat kay :(

Wonderwall

I cant take my eyes off you.

No actually, I cant take my mind off you.

High & Dry

Many tell me I look so independant and strong, that they'll never live to see me cry. That is the BIGGEST mistake.

I am such an insecure and paranoid person, and I tear at the littlest things in the world.

Whenever you're not with me, I cannot help but fear that one day you'll slip through my fingers, that you'll stop looking at me, holding me and kissing me the way you do now. I'm afraid for that one day, that everything good in my life will come to a standstill.

Because I dont think I can take it.

Because I've never loved anyone more than I love you now.

I hate myself for being so dependant, so weak.

Last words

I used to feel so bad and awful inside for everything that went wrong with us. Swear to God, it was unintended & you know it.
I hoped so much for you, for everything to go right and good, to live life even better cos you deserve so much more.
I've asked every possible person to look out for you, so someone still cares when I'm not around.

I still remember what was real and good, and I hope you remember the real me though I seem like a total bitch now.
You know my heart broke when I begged you to remain friends but you couldnt live with that.
And I've moved on and I wished you did too, so there was always this hope that someday we'll still be friends again.

But everything I hoped for you, everything, is gone and over. Now that you've gone to the extremes and drew a clear cut between us. I don't know why but that was a wrong move my friend.

Picture perfect memories

Its been so long since I updated and life has just been nothing much but a whirl. School, bed, touch training, friends and B.

But life has been better cos I've found a new happiness, a sunshine to light me up during the darkest days. & I thank God for that, for you.

In lala land still and I swear I know how I'm faring in studies but the thought of picking myself up drains me, like I really dont know where to start. Working on PW only recently cos I never want to pull my group mates down.

I feel like I'm drifting from friends I love so much like A and S and I feel so bad cos I'm not there when they need me most or I dont know what to say to put a smile on their faces. I never was a great friend but I'll try harder.

Other than B, life is pretty much a mess and I've only found Amanda who relates to 'Put it all behind and sleep forever'. No I am not suicidal, it's not that.
But I'll be back on track after the June hols, just watch and see.

You don’t just automatically love someone. you have to slowly learn to trust, then you start believing them. You want to be with them more to the point where you’re jealous of anyone who tries to be with that person. Then it gets you mad but you get past it, you can’t be jealous anymore. You can’t because you have this undying confidence that this person will never leave you, they will never betray you, and that they would never pick someone else over you, that you’re irreplaceable. That’s when the confidence hits you, that you really do love each other and it’s unbreakable.

We're going to be unbreakable baby.