There are days I can't breathe.
And there are days that my brother stealing my Yakult is able to make me boil in rage and cry in frustration.
There are days when the day is fucked up right from the point I open my eyes till I close them.
There are days which seems good and stays well.
There are days I find myself looking back a year or two before, trying to recall what I could be doing then.
There are days I look back to five years before and the people I loved then, are no longer here with me anymore.
There are days I look towards my future & it seem so damn bleak.
And there are days I imagine myself to be successful and beautiful in future.
There are days.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
To make you feel my love
When the rain is blowing in your face,
and the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love.
When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
and there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love.
I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
but I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
no doubt in my mind where you belong.
I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love.
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are throwing wild and free,
you ain't seen nothing like me yet.
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
to make you feel my love
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Everyone's dream
This is all what we need to do.
Take a leap of faith, have a bit of guts (or a lot ) and simply drop everything that we're supposed to do, every routine we're sick of and have tons of fun.
This is life.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
To be frank
I am filled with envy and jealousy.
For my dear friend, Amanda Leo, who just moved to New Zealand for her university education.
I haven't caught up with her in a long time cos we're both so busy with our lives but I am always thinking of her.
( I love you AGL.)
Thinking of the fabulous life she is having right now.
I chanced upon Amanda's blog and there was this beautiful picture of her back view.
She is wearing a Khaki coat and she's walking away from the camera and into a beautiful background of the empty city.
When I mean city, I really mean a complete picture of little shop houses, old lights and narrow alleys and roads.
Not cities like in Singapore, where the lights are way too bright, the people, way too much for comfort and the noise and buzz, unbearable.
That is where I should be.
And that is exactly where Amanda should be. She was always a smashing bird and Singapore is confining her too much.
I am always very pleased inside whenever I think of Amanda in New Zealand.
And I'm thinking, I need to get out of here.
You know there are certain kinds of people, and you know ( & they admit ) that they would never ever leave Singapore. Singapore is home for them, for education, work, family etc.
That's perfectly fine, I have no issues with that.
But I am definitely not in that group.
Singapore is choking me, it is too small.
Everyone knows each other, directly or indirectly.
My old time good friend could know my best friend's brother and he is attached to my classmate who happens to know my cousin etc.
How crazy is that?
Oh and there is practically nowhere in Singapore you can go, to be alone.
There would be some buildings, cars, animals, people or some sort with you.
And there is nowhere in Singapore that is worth visiting multiple times.
So the weekend plans would probably the zoo, town, some famous hawker centre, some hotel, some club, some cinema.
And that is it.
I can feel boredom eating me alive.
Singapore is too safe. Not that safe is not a good thing, but too much of anything is always bad.
Amanda came back to her dorm to see a tangle of strings and webs all across the whole of their dorm corridor created by some anonymous person.
I'm not talking about being wild.
I'm saying that everything in Singapore is a fucking routine.
There are no surprises, there is nothing more to expect, and absolutely no one would ever leave tangled strings outside your door or offer you a rose while you're walking to make your day.
Point is, I wish I could get out of here this instant and experience another way of life.
I don't think my parents could afford to send me overseas to experience that, that's why YaleNUS is now my most fervent dream.
For my dear friend, Amanda Leo, who just moved to New Zealand for her university education.
I haven't caught up with her in a long time cos we're both so busy with our lives but I am always thinking of her.
( I love you AGL.)
Thinking of the fabulous life she is having right now.
I chanced upon Amanda's blog and there was this beautiful picture of her back view.
She is wearing a Khaki coat and she's walking away from the camera and into a beautiful background of the empty city.
When I mean city, I really mean a complete picture of little shop houses, old lights and narrow alleys and roads.
Not cities like in Singapore, where the lights are way too bright, the people, way too much for comfort and the noise and buzz, unbearable.
That is where I should be.
And that is exactly where Amanda should be. She was always a smashing bird and Singapore is confining her too much.
I am always very pleased inside whenever I think of Amanda in New Zealand.
And I'm thinking, I need to get out of here.
You know there are certain kinds of people, and you know ( & they admit ) that they would never ever leave Singapore. Singapore is home for them, for education, work, family etc.
That's perfectly fine, I have no issues with that.
But I am definitely not in that group.
Singapore is choking me, it is too small.
Everyone knows each other, directly or indirectly.
My old time good friend could know my best friend's brother and he is attached to my classmate who happens to know my cousin etc.
How crazy is that?
Oh and there is practically nowhere in Singapore you can go, to be alone.
There would be some buildings, cars, animals, people or some sort with you.
And there is nowhere in Singapore that is worth visiting multiple times.
So the weekend plans would probably the zoo, town, some famous hawker centre, some hotel, some club, some cinema.
And that is it.
I can feel boredom eating me alive.
Singapore is too safe. Not that safe is not a good thing, but too much of anything is always bad.
Amanda came back to her dorm to see a tangle of strings and webs all across the whole of their dorm corridor created by some anonymous person.
I'm not talking about being wild.
I'm saying that everything in Singapore is a fucking routine.
There are no surprises, there is nothing more to expect, and absolutely no one would ever leave tangled strings outside your door or offer you a rose while you're walking to make your day.
Point is, I wish I could get out of here this instant and experience another way of life.
I don't think my parents could afford to send me overseas to experience that, that's why YaleNUS is now my most fervent dream.
Carnival
I've been feeling better these days, better than those dark days last week.
I guess I just needed some time alone, away from the world and stress from school, stress from not performing well.
I need to know new people.
It amazes me how some people are so driven. I really admire them.
If only I was a little more like them and a little less like myself, I would be doing so much better.
This two months will be crazy with tests and JC league.
But I find myself looking forward to the next June holidays already.
I'm reading Norwegian Wood in my spare time and it is a very good book.
I find myself thinking and missing *, cause I know you'll enjoy this book too.
I hope you read it, and perhaps you'll be thinking of me too.
I guess I just needed some time alone, away from the world and stress from school, stress from not performing well.
I need to know new people.
It amazes me how some people are so driven. I really admire them.
If only I was a little more like them and a little less like myself, I would be doing so much better.
This two months will be crazy with tests and JC league.
But I find myself looking forward to the next June holidays already.
I'm reading Norwegian Wood in my spare time and it is a very good book.
I find myself thinking and missing *, cause I know you'll enjoy this book too.
I hope you read it, and perhaps you'll be thinking of me too.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
To see your face again
61 - What hair color do you prefer?
I've always had black bcos of school but once A levels are over, it's either a Brunette brown for me or natural reddish brown highlights.
62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?
My weight and fats.
63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?
Yes.
64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?
Who doesn't? I find it extremely incredible when someone tells me that he has never thought about it before.
65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?
Currently one, and she's a motherfucking nonsensical bitch.
66 - Can you live without internet?
Nope.
67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?
Every little thing by Dishwalla
68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?
Quite but if I see my friends cry, I cannot look or I'd be the one crying tons.
69 - Are you a crybaby?
Yes, born that way.
70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?
Of course, like doing a million things all in 5 seconds.
71 - Are you a KPOP fan?
No and never.
72 - Do you study hard?
I try to but I've to say, I've not studied to the point where I say that's the best I can do.
73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?
Yes, some of my friends & maybe freedom.
74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?
Yes, at a jetty.
75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?
Yup, plenty.
76 - Did you have an accident last year?
No but I had a minor slipdisc(?) and a sprained ankle.
77 - What kind of person are you?
Sociable but I have times where I need to be alone.
I value my freedom very much and will try to go above and beyond for people closest to me.
I absolutely cannot stand nonsense and arrogant people.
78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?
Yes.
79 - Have you ever been jealous?
Of course.
80 - How can you prove your love to someone?
I would go to extremes to do absolutely anything for that person and it's kind of obvious cos I rarely fall for people.
I've always had black bcos of school but once A levels are over, it's either a Brunette brown for me or natural reddish brown highlights.
62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?
My weight and fats.
63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?
Yes.
64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?
Who doesn't? I find it extremely incredible when someone tells me that he has never thought about it before.
65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?
Currently one, and she's a motherfucking nonsensical bitch.
66 - Can you live without internet?
Nope.
67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?
Every little thing by Dishwalla
68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?
Quite but if I see my friends cry, I cannot look or I'd be the one crying tons.
69 - Are you a crybaby?
Yes, born that way.
70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?
Of course, like doing a million things all in 5 seconds.
71 - Are you a KPOP fan?
No and never.
72 - Do you study hard?
I try to but I've to say, I've not studied to the point where I say that's the best I can do.
73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?
Yes, some of my friends & maybe freedom.
74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?
Yes, at a jetty.
75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?
Yup, plenty.
76 - Did you have an accident last year?
No but I had a minor slipdisc(?) and a sprained ankle.
77 - What kind of person are you?
Sociable but I have times where I need to be alone.
I value my freedom very much and will try to go above and beyond for people closest to me.
I absolutely cannot stand nonsense and arrogant people.
78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?
Yes.
79 - Have you ever been jealous?
Of course.
80 - How can you prove your love to someone?
I would go to extremes to do absolutely anything for that person and it's kind of obvious cos I rarely fall for people.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Gotten
41 - What’s the nicest thing you have given to someone?
Men's perfume, CK Be. I think it smells really nice on guys.
42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?
No.
43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?
Good for now.
44 - Name someone you can’t live without.
My dad.
45 - Describe your dream date.
A nice, quiet dinner with good food and dessert at Demsey Hill. Chilling out and having a casual talk afterwards near the area.
46 - Describe your dream wedding.
I am in a custom made Vera Wang white dress with a long veil and a wedding dance collaboration with all my friends.
47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?
None in 2012 cause I didn't want to but eight huge roses on the Valentine's a year before.
48 - Have you ever been kissed?
Yes.
49 - How long is your longest relationship?
Nearing two years.
50 - Do you regret your past?
Of course, there is so many things I wish I didn't do or wish I did.
51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?
I am always being extremely foolish for people who don't even deserve it sometimes.
52 - Have you ever cried over someone?
Mmhmm.
53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?
Right now, yes. Cause she is irritating the hell out of me. Other than that, I let go of grudges rather easily.
54 - Are you a crybaby?
Crybaby is an understatement.
55 - Do people praise you for your looks?
Sometimes.
56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?
Yes.
57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?
Actually, yes. Hahaha.
58 - Do you like getting hurt?
No, who does?!
59 - Does anyone hate you?
Probably but it's okay.
60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?
Nope.
Men's perfume, CK Be. I think it smells really nice on guys.
42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?
No.
43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?
Good for now.
44 - Name someone you can’t live without.
My dad.
45 - Describe your dream date.
A nice, quiet dinner with good food and dessert at Demsey Hill. Chilling out and having a casual talk afterwards near the area.
46 - Describe your dream wedding.
I am in a custom made Vera Wang white dress with a long veil and a wedding dance collaboration with all my friends.
47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?
None in 2012 cause I didn't want to but eight huge roses on the Valentine's a year before.
48 - Have you ever been kissed?
Yes.
49 - How long is your longest relationship?
Nearing two years.
50 - Do you regret your past?
Of course, there is so many things I wish I didn't do or wish I did.
51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?
I am always being extremely foolish for people who don't even deserve it sometimes.
52 - Have you ever cried over someone?
Mmhmm.
53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?
Right now, yes. Cause she is irritating the hell out of me. Other than that, I let go of grudges rather easily.
54 - Are you a crybaby?
Crybaby is an understatement.
55 - Do people praise you for your looks?
Sometimes.
56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?
Yes.
57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?
Actually, yes. Hahaha.
58 - Do you like getting hurt?
No, who does?!
59 - Does anyone hate you?
Probably but it's okay.
60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?
Nope.
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