It's the westlife concert today & I'm feeling extremely blue that I'm here, not there listening to my childhood band. That I'm here after a completely screwed up economics paper.
I love sleep recently. It makes me forget everything.
Whenever I have issues to deal with & I need an escape, I sleep.
& I guess this is partly the reason why I hate people waking me up abruptly.
I've been thinking & it's true that no one can deny their past.
But we've all been young once and did everything insane, some a little more extreme than others.
But does it necessarily have to stay with you for life, to how others judge and see you as you were before?
How you choose to have fun with certain people, does it mean you are like them?
How you might have done somethings & regretted, does it mean that you will always be remembered and identified as the person who did this and that?
I came to NYJC, expecting a whole different journey with many different people. But eventually, your past catches up with you, somehow.
Cause this is a small world.
News go round, getting even more exaggerated by the day.
& when I meet someone else's eyes, they don't have to say a thing. But I know that they have already seen me through different lenses.
When I meet friends and those that really gel fast with me, it's natural that we share our past etc.
And they swear that they won't judge.
Then again, really?
All I had was trust that you'll take me for who I really am, since it's my past and the things I do, that have defined me into who I am now.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, love me for who I really am.
Every bit of it.
Bcos all of us just wanna be accepted in the end.
Y'know the worse feeling in the world, is to feel sorry for yourself.
Sometimes I can't help feeling that.
3 comments:
Don't go indulging yourself into sleeping whenever you feel lousy and decided to escape from reality. I think it makes you feel more grumpy instead.
Whatever happened in the past, is in fact, the past. Nothing could do to change it. I think all along, you have never accepted your past or you ain't proud of the past. & when it caught up to you, it becomes hard to breath.
Everyone (or most) judge others who aren't dear to them until they know them well enough.
Let them be & give no thoughts to them for they aren't opening up and accepting you for who you are now.
Our past don't define us. Our past is just a part of us & it will always stay with us (& it's up to us to use them in a positive or negative manner). It's what we do now that define us & our future.
Of course, I'm not you & I have no idea what you are facing right now. Perhaps, I've said a little too much than I should have or said the wrong thing. Forgive me if I did.
Don't feel sorry for yourself & I hope things get better for ya. :)
Hi Jaspy, you are truly sweet & let me just say thank you :>
I feel so much more enlightened and stronger after your words. You needn't have bothered but you did and I'm truly grateful.
Thank you for giving me strength to continuing facing the harsh world but it warms me to know that someone out there still cares.
I hope life treats you well too and God bless xx.
Silly nincompoop, I'm sure there's bound to be at least someone else who does. You simply just spam them to pour everything at them.
chapter three :
i made the choice to stab something & not someone.
Hahaha.
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