I am filled with envy and jealousy.
For my dear friend, Amanda Leo, who just moved to New Zealand for her university education.
I haven't caught up with her in a long time cos we're both so busy with our lives but I am always thinking of her.
( I love you AGL.)
Thinking of the fabulous life she is having right now.
I chanced upon Amanda's blog and there was this beautiful picture of her back view.
She is wearing a Khaki coat and she's walking away from the camera and into a beautiful background of the empty city.
When I mean city, I really mean a complete picture of little shop houses, old lights and narrow alleys and roads.
Not cities like in Singapore, where the lights are way too bright, the people, way too much for comfort and the noise and buzz, unbearable.
That is where I should be.
And that is exactly where Amanda should be. She was always a smashing bird and Singapore is confining her too much.
I am always very pleased inside whenever I think of Amanda in New Zealand.
And I'm thinking, I need to get out of here.
You know there are certain kinds of people, and you know ( & they admit ) that they would never ever leave Singapore. Singapore is home for them, for education, work, family etc.
That's perfectly fine, I have no issues with that.
But I am definitely not in that group.
Singapore is choking me, it is too small.
Everyone knows each other, directly or indirectly.
My old time good friend could know my best friend's brother and he is attached to my classmate who happens to know my cousin etc.
How crazy is that?
Oh and there is practically nowhere in Singapore you can go, to be alone.
There would be some buildings, cars, animals, people or some sort with you.
And there is nowhere in Singapore that is worth visiting multiple times.
So the weekend plans would probably the zoo, town, some famous hawker centre, some hotel, some club, some cinema.
And that is it.
I can feel boredom eating me alive.
Singapore is too safe. Not that safe is not a good thing, but too much of anything is always bad.
Amanda came back to her dorm to see a tangle of strings and webs all across the whole of their dorm corridor created by some anonymous person.
I'm not talking about being wild.
I'm saying that everything in Singapore is a fucking routine.
There are no surprises, there is nothing more to expect, and absolutely no one would ever leave tangled strings outside your door or offer you a rose while you're walking to make your day.
Point is, I wish I could get out of here this instant and experience another way of life.
I don't think my parents could afford to send me overseas to experience that, that's why YaleNUS is now my most fervent dream.
1 comment:
Of all the things I've told you about why I wanted to leave, its mostly because I couldn't stand the thought of going to the same places for the next 5 years or however long it would take me. I've been all over Singapore and I'm sick of going to the same old places all the time.
You were made for a country other than this. You were made to walk down a European-styled alleyway in a fashionable black and white checked coat and gloves with your hair done up in a bun and your golden tan attracting the looks of passerbys.
You can't stay here- you will get out of here and I can't wait for the day when you do.
This meant so much to me. I think about you all the time and the things you've said to me. The strength you've inspired in me. You are my favourite girl and I love you very much.
xx
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