I feel like slipping into depression and darkness & never have to wake up to face the fucking world.

Been crying for the what, 8th time today?

Yes, I'm weak.
But so much more afraid.

P.S I'm sorry to everyone I've snapped at or ignored. I wasn't feeling me.

Screwed

Fuck off.
It's not okay and I'm not alright.

All the heartache

I'm hyperventilating.
God please just let me promote, I cannot afford to retain.

Sink me in the river

I think right, only you can feel how I feel at times. This feeling, I have no idea how to express, and then I think I'm weird. But now I see you feel that too.

Sometimes, I feel right to bury myself in misery and sadness.

How crazy (& stupid) is that.
I thought I was the only one in this world.

School's mad. My hate for it never went down one bit.

P.S I feel suffocated bcos of the haze, it doesn't feel good.

Foxy

Can you believe this is Singapore?
One day, I'm going to be looking at the exact same sight on the top of Marina Bay Sands.

All that I adore

Sometimes, all I want to do is for everyone to know that I am running out of time with the person who makes me the happiest girl, who gives all the love & joy I need in the world.

This feeling is not the best feeling at all. NOT. AT. ALL.

I want them to know I fight battles everyday with myself, with my worst fears in a few months. Everyone tells me I'm so strong and and it's amazing how I do it.
But even the strongest warriors fall and I still need all the love and care I can get.

Dont stray away just because you think I can take it cos I'm breaking each and everyday. The pain is raw and you don't see how it tears me apart. Even when I don't show, don't forget I still feel.

Candy

I saw the most selfless and the most selfish person in the world today.

GP was...

To Amanda With Love

It's amazing right, how you think perhaps you're really doing better and you can finally see yourself free from all these. And in an instant, you're back to square one, battling with your mind and heart and in a huge dilemma once again.

Everything changes, so fast.
But what will never change is that we'll still be backing you up in everything you do.
I have to admit I was a tad disappointed, but I was so much more worried for you. That you'll spend your nights crying and teary in school.

You're strong dear, these two months you were the strongest.

I've expected him to come back somehow, I told you before & yes he really did. Kinda blame R for this but oh well. I know you'll make unwise decisions because I've been in your shoes before. All my friends were extremely against it but I still believed and made stupid choices. Proved that friends were so right and I was left to pick up the pieces but you know what, at least I had no regrets for not trying.

Who are we to judge what you do is right/wrong? We love you and just do anything that makes you happy cos you'll never know. And even if you fall, everyone who loves you especially me, will be there to catch you.

The hurt, I think, feels better than a lifetime of regrets and what-ifs.
I love you Amanda, the most bubbly, giving and beautiful girl I've ever known.