2009

2009 just flew by, so fucking fast. But I've got to say, it was the best year throughout my whole secondary school life. Many things happened, people changed, I've changed too.

I've hurt people, many this year. Sometimes I look back, not believing what I've done, feeling tinges of regret and remorse. Even till the end of the year, I was still hurting some over my decisions in life. But everything happens for a reason. I am genuinely sorry to the people that were hurt but I also do know of those I've tried to protect but there were misunderstandings along the way and the finger is pointed back at me. I'm not a perfect person, in fact, I'm so far from that but I do know what I've done and have not.

And because of that, I've lost people too. Really do pains the heart to think back but I will always remember those who have had an impact on my life some way or other. Whats left are great memories which I can look back and smile at a few years down the road.

I've loved much. But love is just a lie for now, nothing worked out for long. And so its back to loved and lost.

I've been hurt. Life is being pulled by little strings of god. People pass remarks, judge me, find ways to hurt me so bad but I survived it all. And it has made me stronger than before so people fail to break me with the harshest words bcos I've heard it all before.

I've smiled cos I forged new friendships and grew closer to certain people. From heart to heart talks to crazy laughter with my girls, from concerns when I'm down to surprising me with sour sweets to make my day, from life advices to shoulders to lean on when I break and from bickers with Zhiting to 'sorry' notes on post-its. Nothing beats having all my close friends with me cos they're simply the best <3

I've learned more about life and people from being down and out. Picking yourself up from the mess is the greatest feeling. My family has been slightly better this year cos my grades have improved so much. From bottom 5 for the first 3 years of school to one of the top 10 in class for the last year, thats mass acheivement :) I just need great O level results to end it off all nicely.

I think I'm ready for 2010. I had an awesome birthday with the greatest friends(pics up soon!) so its a very good start.
This year, I need to find and cherish myself more plus fix my piorities before I lose more people than I can handle.

2010 better be a kickass year! :>